![]() |
MS-DEFCON 2:
Patch reliability is unclear. Unless you have an immediate, pressing need to install a specific patch, don't do it.
|
-
Nightmares, Computers and Wifey
Home › Forums › Outside the box › Rants › Nightmares, Computers and Wifey
- This topic has 11 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 7 months ago.
Viewing 8 reply threads-
AuthorPosts
-
-
May 31, 2019 at 12:01 pm #1762575
Bluetrix
AskWoody MVPI’m having nightmares of endless blue screens of death, of support cables that tangle across my desk and breath life into my laptop morphing into snakes, wrapping around my arm, slithering towards my neck, tightening like an anaconda around prey. In one dream I was bitten by my mouse, a mouse huge as a NYC rat with the attitude of a honey badger. Disturbing.
Using a computer is driving me nuts, and it’s starting to show. In my latest dream, a skinless bionic arm reached out in 3D and pulled me inside the computer, I became part of a matrix. I’ve seen that happen in a sci-fi movie, but in my dream? As I sit on the edge of the bed I hear wifeys’ voice, “Another bad dream?” My mind is crashing, a re-boot is in order.
My irritability while using my computer doesn’t go unnoticed, so wifey decides to take action. One minute I am blissfully sitting in front of the computer spewing expletive deletives, the next moment I am sitting in a chair at a psychologist’s office.
“Tell me about your day”, she says, eyes on her pad, pen in hand. “I understand you spend a lot of time on the computer, apparently it’s mostly unhappy time.” Her voice has a Garrison Keillor monotonous drone to it, but she’s not humorous, she is putting me to sleep. It’s undeniable, I’m in a real live nightmare. If I could just click to a different scenario, that would be o-so-nice. The repeated brisk tapping of my index finger on the chair piqued her interest.
I suggest to the therapist that a Rorschach’s test, or word association exams would not yield any useful data. I mention that I can play Whack-a-Mole with the best of them. She was obviously impressed at that revelation, off came her glasses and she put down her pen and pad. She began massaging her temples, which reminded me of the endless circling small icons do as a program is loading. I can only hope this doesn’t last that long, I’m paying her by the hour. I don’t think she understood my Whack-a-Mole metaphor. It’s good to be alive, so many things I can relate to.
Special-K cereal is on the table. I get up, go to the computer and start searching for the latest patch. Now … what was that K something or other they were talking about yesterday? I resist saying “I need a patch” out loud, least wifey starts looking thru the hamper for torn clothes, or starts asking me who Susan is again. That’s a circular discussion I don’t care to revisit, she thinks I am cheating on her.
“You need help honey”, wifey says from another room, “There are people that can help with computer addiction.” She enters the room, I am wearing the headphones she gave me as a birthday present, the noise reduction type. They are noise reduction type only for her, she doesn’t have to listen to my music while I toil away on the computer. She puts her hands on my shoulders and asks me what I am listening to. I respond, “Bach”. Wifey loves Bach. She removes the headphones and puts them on. Bach?, that’s not Bach! She puts the headphones back over my ears and leaves. I did stretch the truth a bit, I was listening to BTO.
” I sure could use a Captain Morgan’s,” I call out, but I get no response. It must be to early to start drinking. I hear a door slam
I’m not addicted and I don’t need help. All I need is a good night’s sleep, one absent from URGENT UPDATE! and DEVCON1 scrolling across a neon lighted marque. Either I mumbled, or just thought those words, but I imagined wifeys’ eyes staring at my back, as if she was standing behind me.
“We can afford a new computer, let’s get one you don’t need to fight with every day, or constantly update,” she says. I resist the urge to argue and respond, “Yes dear.” Wifey hasn’t a clue, she just doesn’t understand.
For a moment I entertain the idea of a new computer, one can never have to many backups. I ponder all the configuring I can do, all the bundled junk I can delete. I smiled for the first time today.
Before all the code became a jumbled mess or started rearranging itself on my screen in slow motion, I type in a rem statement, save the changes and turn off the computer.
“I know I suggested a hobby after you retired, but I never expected this,” wifey complains.” Why don’t you go back to playing chess or poker with your buddies?” I mention I can play both games on the computer, and I don’t have to listen to anyone when I win. She is nonplussed. I was joking about winning though. I’ve never beaten the computer at chess and the wrong card always drops when I play poker online.
Before closing my eyes that night, I think of sailing across clear blue waters, wheel in one hand, wifey in the other, sails full, reaching for the setting sun just past the horizon. I hoped visualizing would set the tone for a night of serene dreams, I’ve heard that works. My choice of blue waters and sun as imagery proved to be a poor one. I only dreamed of computers laughing as they chased me, all of them had blue screens with large, bright, yellow emojis.
My rem sleep will never be the same.
/rant
-
May 31, 2019 at 6:28 pm #1763147
Susan Bradley
ManagerApologies if in any way I am causing marital discord.
October 21, 2013. Can’t remember exactly what happened in patching but I was so upset with Microsoft that day that I purchased the cheapest Chromebook and Ubuntu laptop from Amazon. Still have them. Handy for googling error messages when your Windows machine doesn’t work. 🙂
Susan Bradley Patch Lady
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
Susan Bradley.
7 users thanked author for this post.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
-
May 31, 2019 at 6:41 pm #1763160
PKCano
ManagerCan’t help but associate with this.
I think many of us techies suffer this kind of thing, married or not. We get engrossed in our computer work, our eyes become square (or rectangular, depending on the age of our monitor), and we can’t carry on a conversation without turning to check what’s going on in the browser/program/video/tweet/…..
It so hits homeThanks, @Bluetrix
-
May 31, 2019 at 6:51 pm #1763161
Bluetrix
AskWoody MVP-
June 1, 2019 at 8:38 am #1764438
-
-
May 31, 2019 at 6:59 pm #1763204
Susan Bradley
Manager -
June 1, 2019 at 12:07 am #1763663
-
June 1, 2019 at 1:54 am #1763960
-
June 1, 2019 at 3:14 pm #1765059
PaulK
AskWoody Lounger-
June 1, 2019 at 5:22 pm #1765148
geekdom
AskWoody Plus“To Serve Man”
— Damon Knight short storyBetaTest {Got backup and coffee}
offline▸ Win10Pro 2004.19041.572 x64 i3-3220 RAM8GB HDD Firefox83.0b3 WindowsDefender TRV=1909 WuMgr
offline▸ Win10Pro 20H2.19042.685 x86 Atom N270 RAM2GB HDD WindowsDefender WuMgr GuineaPigVariant
online▸ Win10Pro 2004.19041.746 x64 i5-9400 RAM16GB HDD Firefox85.0 WindowsDefender TRV=2004 WuMgr1 user thanked author for this post.
-
-
June 11, 2019 at 10:20 am #1835945
wavy
AskWoody PlusGood imagination ehh??
“I need a patch” out loud, least wifey starts looking thru the hamper for torn clothes,
should be lest, no??
Rod Serling (Twilight Zone) reincarnated.
After all, computers are here to serve man. Well.Well done or rare??
🍻
Just because you don't know where you are going doesn't mean any road will get you there.-
This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
wavy.
1 user thanked author for this post.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
-
-
AuthorPosts
Viewing 8 reply threads -
Welcome to our unique respite from the madness.
It's easy to post questions about Windows 10, Win8.1, Win7, Surface, Office, or browse through our Forums. Post anonymously or register for greater privileges. Keep it civil, please: Decorous Lounge rules strictly enforced. Questions? Contact Customer Support.

Plus Membership
Donations from Plus members keep this site going. You can identify the people who support AskWoody by the Plus badge on their avatars.
AskWoody Plus members not only get access to all of the contents of this site -- including Susan Bradley's frequently updated Patch Watch listing -- they also receive weekly AskWoody Plus Newsletters (formerly Windows Secrets Newsletter) and AskWoody Plus Alerts, emails when there are important breaking developments. Click here for details and to sign up.
Search The Lounge
Recent Replies
OscarCP on Apple to block sideloading iOS apps on M1
35 minutes agoMele20 on Giving you the choice
50 minutes agoWSila on Laptop with home and work networks
57 minutes agoWSila on Laptop with home and work networks
58 minutes agoMele20 on Winaero Tweaker with W10 Improvements
1 hour, 19 minutes agoOscarCP on What Linux is and why it has persisted
2 hours, 34 minutes agoAlex5723 on Iphone updating to new version when auto updates turned off?
2 hours, 48 minutes agodoriel on What Linux is and why it has persisted
2 hours, 54 minutes agoPaul T on So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
3 hours, 3 minutes agoAlex5723 on Apple to block sideloading iOS apps on M1
3 hours, 3 minutes agoAlex5723 on So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
3 hours, 12 minutes agoAlex5723 on Hard Drive at 100% usage
3 hours, 14 minutes agomn-- on What Linux is and why it has persisted
3 hours, 14 minutes agodoriel on What Linux is and why it has persisted
3 hours, 48 minutes agoPaul T on So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
3 hours, 49 minutes agob on Hard Drive at 100% usage
4 hours, 2 minutes agoMicrofix on Winaero Tweaker with W10 Improvements
4 hours, 21 minutes agoMoonshine on Using Windows 10 Backup Option
4 hours, 26 minutes agoOscarCP on What Linux is and why it has persisted
4 hours, 50 minutes agoPaul T on Extra USB Sound driver?
4 hours, 52 minutes agoAlex5723 on Hard Drive at 100% usage
5 hours, 4 minutes agoPaul T on Accessing Old Laptop HD
5 hours, 6 minutes agoOscarCP on Fiber optic not available; options please
5 hours, 9 minutes agoAlex5723 on Best W10-Pro updater program ?
5 hours, 18 minutes agoPaul T on Best W10-Pro updater program ?
5 hours, 19 minutes agomn-- on What Linux is and why it has persisted
5 hours, 20 minutes agoPaul T on Minor Lounge Button Tweaks
5 hours, 26 minutes agoPaul T on Windows Defender In Win 10 Concern
5 hours, 29 minutes agoAlex5723 on So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
5 hours, 29 minutes agoPaul T on Using Windows 10 Backup Option
5 hours, 35 minutes ago
Recent Topics
-
System Restore Stopped Working
2 hours, 41 minutes ago
-
Malwarebytes was targeted by SolarWinds hackers too
5 hours, 37 minutes ago
-
So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
3 hours, 4 minutes ago
-
Which version of MS Office should we buy and where can we get it?
5 hours, 49 minutes ago
-
Fiber optic not available; options please
5 hours, 10 minutes ago
-
Best W10-Pro updater program ?
5 hours, 19 minutes ago
-
Accessing Old Laptop HD
5 hours, 7 minutes ago
-
DNSpooq lets attackers poison DNS cache – A Patch
17 hours, 50 minutes ago
-
Nitro data breach – what does it mean to me?
6 hours, 27 minutes ago
-
Check Point : “FreakOut” malware exploits new Linux vulnerabilities
18 hours, 32 minutes ago
-
How to STOP Outlook Hotmail config forcing signin to Office 2019
18 hours, 50 minutes ago
-
Permission on public desktop gets reset
19 hours, 51 minutes ago
-
Surface Pro 4 & Win v2004 update fail
18 hours, 46 minutes ago
-
Extra USB Sound driver?
4 hours, 52 minutes ago
-
PNY Flash Drive Problem
21 hours, 18 minutes ago
-
Windows 10 bug crashes your PC when you access this location
1 day, 18 hours ago
-
Doesn’t like external FAT32 HDD
1 day, 4 hours ago
-
Why won’t Task Scheduler launch Office product
12 hours, 4 minutes ago
-
Susan recommending version 2004
1 day, 12 hours ago
-
Replace Images for Text in Word
1 day, 20 hours ago
-
Windows 10 internet connection freezes
1 day, 3 hours ago
-
Windows Defender In Win 10 Concern
5 hours, 30 minutes ago
-
Laptop with home and work networks
57 minutes ago
-
Top 40+ iOS 14 Tips and Tricks
2 days, 2 hours ago
-
What Linux is and why it has persisted
2 hours, 35 minutes ago
-
Find the cable modem that’s just right for your ISP
10 hours, 2 minutes ago
-
Four GB of RAM vanishes … but then reappears
5 hours, 37 minutes ago
-
Wow! Even more Office updates!
1 day, 16 hours ago
-
Hard Drive at 100% usage
3 hours, 14 minutes ago
-
Checking e-mail attachments with VirusTotal
2 days, 16 hours ago
Search for Topics
Recent blog posts
- So I opened up an HP and where’s the hard drive?
- What Linux is and why it has persisted
- Find the cable modem that’s just right for your ISP
- Four GB of RAM vanishes … but then reappears
- Wow! Even more Office updates!
- Giving you the choice
- Tasks for the weekend – January 16, 2021
- Zero day Windows 10 bug
Key Links
Copyright © 2004 – 2021 AskWoody Tech LLC. All rights reserved.