News, tips, advice, support for Windows, Office, PCs & more. Tech help. No bull. We're community supported by donations from our Plus Members, and proud of it
Home icon Home icon Home icon Email icon RSS icon
  • Please say goodbye to my Sainted Aunt Martha

    Home Forums AskWoody blog Please say goodbye to my Sainted Aunt Martha

    This topic contains 44 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by  Tchalms 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

    • Author
      Posts
    • #2006255 Reply

      woody
      Da Boss

      Those of you who have been reading my stuff for a while no doubt recall my Sainted Aunt Martha. She’s the prototypical kind and gentle lady who doesn’
      [See the full post at: Please say goodbye to my Sainted Aunt Martha]

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2006261 Reply

      Cee Arr
      AskWoody Plus

      Grumpy old Uncle Bunkle, for starters!  I’ll come up with a few more – promise.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #2006262 Reply

      plodr
      AskWoody Plus

      Clueless Uncle Cal?

      Years ago (this was in the Win 9x era), my husband volunteered me to help someone he met at our car dealership with his computer. Big mistake and my husband has apologized profusely since then. He has learned not to volunteer me to help anyone with a computer since.

      This was in the heyday of dialup. The gentleman’s computer was so filled with nasties that it used to dial out on its own and run up his phone bill! He had to have the phone company block all 1-900 numbers.

      I told him “when you are done using the computer, pull the phone cord either out of the wall or the back of the computer until you are ready to use it”. Apparently this was too much trouble for him. He had several very high monthly phone bills.

      I ended up cleaning his computer 3 or 4 times. I had written out a large note card for him detailing what he was to do daily, weekly and once or twice a month to maintain the computer. He’d brag to me that he didn’t bother updating his antivirus.

      The last time I cleaned his computer, I brought it home and kept it for a week even though it didn’t take a week to clean. When I gave it back to him, I told him, “I won’t be helping you any more. You’ll have to take the computer to a shop and pay to have it cleaned from now on.”

      He called and emailed me a few times for help. I simply said, “I’m no longer providing help.” I found out later he had a son who refused to help with his computer problems! I understood why! I don’t mind helping if the people spend a bit of effort trying to do what you suggest. If people continually ignore any suggestions, then I stop helping.

      No the gentleman’s name was not Cal but Clueless Cal has a nice ring to it.

       

      Got coffee?

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006265 Reply

        rc primak
        AskWoody_MVP

        Well, Jimmy Carter always had his Brother Billy. And Petticoat Junction had Uncle Joe who was always movin’ kinda slow. Andy Griffith had Barney Fife. And the CBS TV sitcom Becker had Linda, who would break anything technological she touched. So we have some choices. All my relatives had great tech skills or lived before tech became a part of American mainstream life.

        Maybe a clueless Uncle Barney? No references for that one, I’m afraid.

        More seriously…

        I don’t mind helping if the people spend a bit of effort trying to do what you suggest. If people continually ignore any suggestions, then I stop helping.

        This is exactly one of two reasons face to face computer user groups are dying all across America.

        The other main reason is that operating systems and devices have become so “user friendly” that no one needs a Ph.D. in Computer Science (like Woody’s Aunt just got) just to update everything or to look at their Facebook or Twitter feeds. (No one checks email anymore.) Heck, you don’t even need a computer to do what most folks used to do on our PCs just a few years ago! Most phones will do basic photo editing, and storage is in the Cloud, backup is a thing of the past, and antivirus is either built in or nonexistent (for phones, Chromebooks and anything Apple makes, as well as Facebook Portal, Amazon Echo-Alexa, etc.).

        So user groups now consist mostly of middle-aged and older folks who still insist on owning and controlling our devices, owning and knowing where our own data is at all times, and other borderline-OCD concerns, like privacy or security (often we link those two concerns into one topic area).

        Still we get the frantic calls from our less-savvy relatives and friends — How do I make the ___ do ____ ? How do I get my _____ from _____ (in the Cloud) onto my _____ (device)? Where did _____ (feature) go? How do I shut down this crazy thing? (Jane! Jane! …) Stuff like that.

        But still the same people don’t need face to face user groups, and refuse to attend meetings, day or night. Don’t need the groups? Yeah, riiiight!! Won’t take the time or effort to sit through meetings until their problem is addressed — more like the truth. Attention spans have been limited to 150 to 300 characters or 15 seconds of video. And that’s even true of adults these days.

        Look something up online, and follow the instructions exactly, often more than once? No one will do that anymore. And older folks who would do things “by the book” can’t find printed instructions anymore — everyone’s posting YouTube videos. Which works fine, except when the device or your home network can’t get online. Which is most of the time when serious issues happen.

        Then there’s the stereotype, unfortunately still true, of older folks not remembering what you can teach them. They seem to get it, can do things right for a few hours, and then they go home. The next week they come back and have forgotten everything they learned the previous week. And we are right back to teaching the same things all over again. Well hey, Alexa won’t object to being asked the same question hundreds of times per week, so all is not lost!

        So much for Reason Number Two. Sorry for the long rant, but this is why sites like ours here don’t get more support (and more eyeballs from those who could benefit the most from our content) than  we get. User groups and tech forums should be overwhelmed with requests for help. But sometimes it seems all I hear is crickets from the average user crowd. And complaints that their tech isn’t working. Again. (Sigh.)

        -- rc primak

        • This reply was modified 4 weeks, 1 day ago by  rc primak.
        3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006512 Reply

        MrJimPhelps
        AskWoody_MVP

        Tale of two people:
        1 — My former pastor (and his wife)
        2 — My wife

        Both my pastor and his wife had tons of crud on each of their computers. I thoroughly cleaned both, AND installed Trend Micro. But soon after, they were all gunked up again.

        When I first met my wife, her computer was as clean as a whistle. She is by no means a computer professional; but she is careful and has lots of common sense. Most of all, she never let her nieces get on her computer, no matter how much her sister complained to her about it.

        Some people are simply prone to pick up gunk, no matter how much you try to help them.

        Group "L" (Linux Mint)
        with Windows 8.1 running in a VM
    • #2006266 Reply

      anonymous

      Clueless Uncle George.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #2006328 Reply

        anonymous

        Agreed. If you Aunt was named Martha, doesn’t your Uncle have to be named George?  (i.e. — like our first President and First Lady)

         

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2006272 Reply

      wavy
      AskWoody Plus

      Well Woody if Martha is getting a PHD in CS 👩🏼‍🎓 she has been a lot less computer illiterate for quite a while than you have been passing her off as. 😁
      So my suggestion is just keep on using her alternate persona as your avatar of cluelessness.
      If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. We won’t tell anybody 🤐

      🍻

      Just because you don't know where you are going doesn't mean any road will get you there.
      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006307 Reply

        woody
        Da Boss

        HA!

        As someone who did pass his comps for a CS PhD, I can identify with that.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2006273 Reply

      Canadian Tech
      AskWoody_MVP

      About 3/4 my clients fit that description.  The solution that has worked for them and me is a “final state” Windows 7 system that has a relatively new hard drive and a re-installed OS that is “updated” up to and including May 2017.  WU is disabled. Chrome is in use.  Adobe Flash and Reader, as well as Java are removed.  BitDefender Antivirus + is installed.

      These systems simply run and run and run.  Never a problem.

      I have a detailed procedure to do this and would happily share it with all and sundry.

      Not one of the 120 systems I look after has had a single problem in 30 months now.

      CT

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006309 Reply

        woody
        Da Boss

        I’m MOST interested in your procedure.

        Email it to me and I’ll post it on the main blog.

        Thanks!

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006483 Reply

        OscarCP
        AskWoody Plus

        Canadian Tech: I hope that by being “updated” up to and including May 2017 you do not mean to say that if one “updated up to” some later month (for example December 2019) then one would be unable to do what you have done.

        I also would like to see the procedure you use in more detail. In general terms, I gather that it is like Being Group W For Ever, which you have recommended here before, if memory serves.

        Windows 7 Professional, SP1, x64 Group B & macOS + Linux (Mint) => Win7 Group W + Mac&Lx

        • #2006484 Reply

          Canadian Tech
          AskWoody_MVP

          Oscar, you cannot recover from that. You will have to do a complete re-install. Woody said above he would be publishing my procedure. I have not had confirmation of that yet, but I expect he will.

          If after a while, you cannot find it, come back to this page and I will publish it here.

          You are correct. I and my clients are Group W. We have not allowed any Microsoft updating since May 2017.

          Doing a complete re-install has a very strong point. You can then create a system image — I call it a final state image — that is a complete Windows 7 system that does not rely on Microsoft even existing, let alone updates, activation or an install disk.

          CT

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2007092 Reply

        rc primak
        AskWoody_MVP

        So, you can’t stand Windows snooping, but you use and recommend Google Chrome? With or without disabling all that Google telemetry? Oh yeah that’s right — Google has things rigged so that Chrome and gmail users can’t disable Google’s snooping. Got it.  I’d be using Firefox with DuckDuckGo and Fastmail.

        -- rc primak

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #2006284 Reply

      tonyl
      AskWoody Lounger

      “I don’t mind helping if the people spend a bit of effort trying to do what you suggest. If people continually ignore any suggestions, then I stop helping.”

      Good grief, how many of us have been there? 

      • This reply was modified 4 weeks, 1 day ago by  tonyl.
      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2006286 Reply

      WildBill
      AskWoody Plus

      Dear Uncle Moe? He’s not Clueless, but Not Sainted. Both Martha & Moe begin with “M”. He’s a good guy, but doesn’t care about his computer’s nuts & bolts, and its bits & bytes. As long as it works… until it Doesn’t, whether it’s Hardware or Software that hiccups. Then he yells for help. Like Sainted Aunt Martha, Dear Uncle Moe needs Windows Update to Install Updates Automatically (recommended). Because he doesn’t want to keep track of when & how to update. If the dang machine’s so smart, let it update itself. If it breaks… well he’ll call his tech-savvy niece or nephew (You!). Because he’s got time to use his brand-spanking new Windows 10 computer… but no time to fix it. That’s his techy relative’s job!

      Windows 8.1, 64-bit, back in Group A... & leaning toward Windows 10 V1909. As long as it's a Lot Less Buggy!
      Wild Bill Rides Again...

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2007093 Reply

        rc primak
        AskWoody_MVP

        I know some very intelligent and highly educated people who keep everything set to automatic updates and don’t fuss with controlling anything on their devices. They just don’t want to be bothered, and don’t want to have to do a monthly or twice-monthly runaround to sites like here.

        I prefer the runaround — it gives me more flexibility and control. I like those advantages, but for the freedom there’s a price to be paid. Deal with it!

        (Said the guy who also prefers Linux over Windows for pretty much the same reason.)

        -- rc primak

        • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by  rc primak.
    • #2006306 Reply

      OscarCP
      AskWoody Plus

      Uncle Sam?

      Windows 7 Professional, SP1, x64 Group B & macOS + Linux (Mint) => Win7 Group W + Mac&Lx

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #2006311 Reply

      barcud
      AskWoody Plus

      @woody, How about Uncle Vernon, or Uncle Albert?

    • #2006326 Reply

      NoLoki
      AskWoody Lounger

      Uncle Onoda.

      A name synonymous with stubbornness and a determination to never surrender. Fixity Uncle Onoda.

    • #2006344 Reply

      Seff
      AskWoody Plus

      How’s his hearing? If it’s none too good then he could be Uncle Deafcon.

      • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by  Seff.
      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #2006387 Reply

      AJNorth
      AskWoody Plus

      Of course, there is that well-known Uncle Bob — immortalized in the expression,  [Then] Bob’s your uncle.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #2006412 Reply

        Sinclair
        AskWoody Lounger

        Terminator 2 Uncle Bob

        A T-800 called Uncle Bob on the cover of a Windows for Dummies would be hilarious. He is a drapery salesman in Terminator Dark Fate so it is not even that weird. There he is called Carl.

        W7 x64 Pro&Home

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #2006487 Reply

        OscarCP
        AskWoody Plus

        “Bob’s your Uncle” now means: “no worries”, or “it will be OK”. But, originally, was a gossipy criticism implying that one doesn’t need to worry if one has influential uncle Bob to help out. “Bob” being a British Prime Minister, whose first name was Robert, that got an outrageously nice job to a nephew of his. Everything is possible, but I don’ think Woody got his job as an act of reprehensible nepotism from his uncle.

        Windows 7 Professional, SP1, x64 Group B & macOS + Linux (Mint) => Win7 Group W + Mac&Lx

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #2006601 Reply

          AJNorth
          AskWoody Plus

          I don’ think Woody got his job as an act of reprehensible nepotism from his uncle.

          GAD, I should say not!

          Thank you for the historical background (which, I am chagrinned to say, I never thought to lookup).

          But wait; there’s more: https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/bobs-your-uncle.html.

          Perhaps Uncle Kilroy, then (as in Kilroy Was Here)… .

           

           

          As Harry Truman said, “The only thing new in the world is the history you don’t know.”

          (As quoted in “Plain Speaking: An Oral Biography of Harry S. Truman” by Merle Miller, 1974; P. 26 — excluding the arts and sciences, of course, which are continually adding new content and knowledge.)

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2006478 Reply

      anonymous

      Sainted Uncle Marvin.

    • #2006492 Reply

      Cee Arr
      AskWoody Plus

      Deaf Uncle Fred,  I feel so sorry for Uncle Fred, There’s not much hair upon his head, And what is worse he hardly hears, There’s so much hair inside his ears.

      Right mouse click Uncle Fred!  Huh!

    • #2006494 Reply

      TechTango
      AskWoody Plus

      Hummm….

      “Amazing Uncle Ernie”

      It’s amazing he has no geek DNA

    • #2006555 Reply

      E Pericoloso Sporgersi
      AskWoody Plus

      Uncle Fudd

      (of Elmer lore, if copyright allows)


      (My avatar is Winston, Croft Manor's majordomo in TR Legend.)

    • #2006603 Reply

      Morty
      AskWoody Plus

      MOM would be proud.

    • #2006649 Reply

      tonyl
      AskWoody Lounger

      From the British perspective, it would have to be something ironic. Uncle Bill, maybe.

      I don’t think “Uncle Satya” trips off the tongue quite so well…

    • #2006670 Reply

      dgreen
      AskWoody Lounger

      About 3/4 my clients fit that description.  The solution that has worked for them and me is a “final state” Windows 7 system that has a relatively new hard drive and a re-installed OS that is “updated” up to and including May 2017.  WU is disabled. Chrome is in use.  Adobe Flash and Reader, as well as Java are removed.  BitDefender Antivirus + is installed.

      These systems simply run and run and run.  Never a problem.

      I have a detailed procedure to do this and would happily share it with all and sundry.

      Not one of the 120 systems I look after has had a single problem in 30 months now.

      Canadian Tech
      I thought your instructions were already posted here somewhere?
      2 years ago (Nov. 2017) when my hard drive bit the dust and I replaced it, I had Staples
      do a fresh reinstall of Windows 7.  I didn’t have a disk (Dell didn’t supply them) but had a “service tag #” that they used.  I did have the original disk drivers though and they told me that was a good thing to have to reinstall.
      A week later I saw your post regarding stopping all updates.  It was too late for me as I had already installed my AV and updated (Group A).  If I remember, your instructions were do a system image before installing anything, including AV.
      In retrospect, I realize now that maybe I could have done a “system restore” at that time and probably could have done your system.

       

      my suggestion for Woody’s uncle name…..
      Uncle Dufus

      • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by  dgreen.
    • #2006698 Reply

      lurks about
      AskWoody Lounger

      How about Cousins Stan & Ollie, Uncles Larry, Curly, and Moe.

      • #2007095 Reply

        rc primak
        AskWoody_MVP

        Woody already uses the Keystone Kops as stand-ins for Microsoft’s updating people.

        -- rc primak

    • #2006782 Reply

      wavy
      AskWoody Plus

      Careless Cousin Carl
      Full Speed Ahead Fred
      Why-Me Larry

      🍻

      Just because you don't know where you are going doesn't mean any road will get you there.
    • #2006913 Reply

      anonymous

      Though he might have been Edward Ludlam, he became famous as Ned Ludd the frame breaker (knitting as a cottage industry). The original Luddite. Uncle Ned sounds fun, but “ned” as a search string it will turn up a long list of false hits.

      • #2007098 Reply

        rc primak
        AskWoody_MVP

        I once knew a fellow by the name of Ned. He could break almost any mechanical or electronic device by just looking at it. His specialty was cars. He had a Pontiac “Fiasco”.

        -- rc primak

        • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by  rc primak.
    • #2007022 Reply

      anonymous

      Perhaps you could call the guy Brent?

    • #2007240 Reply

      Alex5723
      AskWoody Plus

      With the recent exposé following the change in ownership of StartPage

      Martin Brinkmann has a new post: Startpage replies to questions about ownership change

      Startpage remains headquartered in the Netherlands/EU and the Startpage founders will continue to run the company.
      Startpage founders have “control over all Startpage privacy implementations”. The company notes that “the Startpage founders may unilaterally reject any potential technical change that could negatively affect user privacy” and that “notice must be given to end users for any privacy-related change”.
      Startpage user IP addresses are not shared “with any party”.
      The way advertisement is served has not changed.
      System1 owns a majority stake in Startpage.
      System1’s “businesses generally do not involve building or maintaining user profiles and little user information is processed or stored within System1”.
      Privacy One Group Limited is a Delaware registered company.

      https://www.ghacks.net/2019/11/18/startpage-replies-to-questions-about-ownership-change/

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #2007706 Reply

      anonymous

      Beknighted Uncle George?  Or spell it “Benighted” instead…

    • #2008073 Reply

      Tchalms
      AskWoody Plus

      Congrat’s to Aunt Martha !!

      I suggest picking one of the Three Stooges, any of the six would work, but I don’t remember who was the most clueless of the bunch.

    Please follow the -Lounge Rules- no personal attacks, no swearing, and politics/religion are relegated to the Rants forum.

    Reply To: Please say goodbye to my Sainted Aunt Martha

    You can use BBCodes to format your content.
    Your account can't use Advanced BBCodes, they will be stripped before saving.