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  • Reality check

    Posted on Mr. Natural Comment on the AskWoody Lounge

    Home Forums Outside the box Rants Reality check

    This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  anonymous 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

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    • #193958 Reply

      Mr. Natural
      AskWoody Lounger

      I keep saying crazy is the new normal. This is a global community and I know they are many that live in fear on a daily basis and what I will share now will be “barking up the wrong tree” for many. I suppose all are aware of these school shootings going on in the U.S. We find that these are teenage boys with all sorts of mental issues among other things.

      I live in a normal quiet subdivision with rarely any criminal acts reported. Monday night someone was pounding on my front door. I was in the bathroom and by the time I got to the door, no-one was there. On either side of me live very old and feeble windowed women that live alone. I stepped out my front door to see a teenage boy heading up to my next door neighbor’s house. I yelled over to him, “did you just pound on my door?” I thought he was selling something. He started running over to me and I then realized something was not right. I was on my front porch and this kid rushed me and started assaulting me. I was able to restrain his arms to keep him from hitting me and he then kicked me in the groin. I then realize this kid is not right. He never said a word to me and had a crazy look in his eyes. I immediately thought of all these nutty kids shooting up these schools and he fit the mold to a “T”.  I am very thankful this kid did not have a gun because if he did I may not be alive today.

      I saw some cars approaching my house so I ran out into the street waving my arms and yelling “call 911”. The kid runs back over to the car sitting in front of my neighbor and I watch him start trying to punch the driver of the car. He then gets in the car and the car drives off. I got the license plate and the police are handling it now.

      So I’ve been in a daze. Only slept a few hours for the past couple of days. This was a completely random act it turns out. The car is registered to a location around 20 miles away from my house. I was sitting in what is supposed to be the safety and comfort of your own home and then this happens. When people knock on my door I now look out the windows first. Very unsettling and hopefully over time I will get over this. This is the new USA.

      This world is getting crazier everyday.

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #193996 Reply

      columbia2011
      AskWoody Lounger

      Today, one must be cautious and observe simple rules of survival in an aggressive environment everywhere and always. Today, most often no one is responsible for their actions and their consequences. Especially teenagers.

      • #194117 Reply

        Mr. Natural
        AskWoody Lounger

        Yes and the police told me with the additional possibility of mental issues the measures taken are handled differently than if he were a “normal” thug. I guess you can say the kid is in some kind of double-secret probation now. I may never find out what becomes of this because of his age and the mental issues.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #194000 Reply

      Elly
      AskWoody MVP

      @ Mr. Natural-

      It can be really traumatic when bad things happen. Your sense of safety can disappear in an instant. Not knowing what the initial trigger was of this kid acting out can leave you with feeling a loss of control. Neighborhood watch groups (formal or informal) can be a good thing… as well as having an intercom/wifi camera for checking out a visitor.

      Predators, whether abusive partners or gangs, use violence for controlling others… others act out from internal pressures or from distorted perceptions from using drugs. It isn’t something that only happens to other people… but…

      You may have saved your more vulnerable neighbor from an assault… and she may not have been able to defend herself as well. You also got the information that police need to follow up for that driver’s safety… good thinking… if you have never had to deal with anything like this, because it happens to someone somewhere else, it was very good thinking.

      Now… sleep hygiene is really important. I say that as someone who has struggled with PSTD from domestic violence. Not sleeping will mess with your mind… and you need your mind to be able to respond appropriately, whatever is going on. I’ve never been able to take sleep aids, because I’m afraid of what might happen if I’m defenseless… but I can use disciplined progressive relaxation to bore my body and mind into sleep…

      If you still aren’t feeling safe, there are things you can do to secure where you live… as a practical matter, take steps so you feel safe in your home.

      Then, if you have continuing problems with sleep, or repeated over-reactions to what were once normal situations, get some counseling. It is helpful to have another person validate your feelings and concerns… help you work through things… and figure out plans for what you would do in the future, if there was an assault on your person, in your car, where you work or shop, or in your neighborhood. A competent person who intends to protect themselves against future threats, identifies and uses multiple resources…

      Frail old ladies can be great alarmists, spreading word of anyone unusual in the neighborhood, quickly. If someone is being attacked, someone else is calling for help… and sometimes taking cell video and being a witness is essential to putting a stop to future bad behavior. My ex was let off the hook multiple times because witnesses to his bad behavior declined to testify because they didn’t want to get involved, or were worried about their own safety… which ties law enforcements’ hands. First step is to avoid the danger in any way you can… move away, use a barrier, call for help. And if you must, when you respond, respond as fully as you can. It isn’t tit for tat… it is ‘you started this, and I’m going to finish this as fast as possible’… and that means the person is immobile, on the ground, and unable to do any more harm. When someone attacks you, it isn’t the time for a measured, partial response… it is time for a full out response… and a fair fight was out of the question when violence was initiated against you… so take him out…

      Funny thing… once I got clear on when it is okay to fight back, that I don’t have to fight ‘fair’, and that I’m going to finish it… predators just don’t look at me as a potential victim… and it doesn’t matter that I’m an old, disabled lady… it sort of changes how you carry yourself… so don’t, because you are now aware that life can be dangerous, start acting like a victim. You don’t want to be a bully or initiate confrontation (move away first)… often compensating behaviors when you’ve been victimized… but be aware of your body language…

      Listen and learn from what others have experienced… I can’t tell you how many people insulate themselves by living in denial, that bad things won’t happen to them… Bad things happen, too often because bad guys make them happen… and acknowledging and dealing with the realities of life makes it safer for all of us.

      Don’t think you are alone… or that you caused or deserved this… give yourself credit for getting through it… and forgive yourself so you don’t get trapped in ‘I should have’. Your responses are your responses… free yourself up to respond appropriately in the future.

      It takes resources, knowledge, determination, and courage to build resilence into your life and into your community…

      Don’t let the bad guys win!

      Win 7 Home, 64 bit, Group B

      • This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Elly.
      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #194032 Reply

      Cascadian
      AskWoody Lounger

      Mr. Natural, a hale and hearty ‘atta boy’ directed your way sir.

      You found yourself in an unfamiliar situation that could have gone very, very wrong. In ways that only occur to you after it is over. I want to thank you sincerely for your actions, and give a nod to whatever it was that had you come out intact.

      This is not just empty praise. Either of your neighbors might possibly have been someone important to me. They are each important to someone. Your actions stopped worse things from happening, and cut short an activity that conceivably leads to protests and riots in many cities these days. You successfully made your neighborhood less desirable to this young individual quickly, prompting him to find a path out of your influence. You were also able to pass substantial information to professionals to take up the next steps in addressing this problem.

      I commend you for your actions, and am glad you are sharing the experience with others. Rest easy sir, you did well. When you feel it is appropriate, you could follow up with your local authorities and inquire how they view your neighborhood. With the goal of seeking advice about any additional measures you could take to make their job easier.

      I sincerely hope this is an odd occurrence that will never be repeated. Yet I really want to praise you for taking the action you did, instead of watching from this side of the curtains. Well done.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #194038 Reply

      anonymous

      I agree with the other comments, it is good to know frail people have neighbors like you and you deserve a virtual hug for what you had to endure in the process. However, don’t think PTSD is only something that only happens to other people. If you find replaying what happened consuming your thoughts (or perhaps even if you don’t), you really should talk with someone.
      Again well done for protecting your neighbors and for thinking so well on your feet.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #194124 Reply

      Mr. Natural
      AskWoody Lounger

      Thank you all very much. I’m feeling much better. I finally got some rest last night. I am moving forward now.

      Elly thanks so much for all your valuable information. I have been through a lot in this lifetime and something like this may shake me a few days but I won’t dwell on it. I can confirm the issues of sleep deprivation because yesterday I was having problems focusing on issues and had difficulty completing statements I was making to others in the office.

      What kind of bothers me is that I was caught off guard. I’m normally a very laid back person but if I get really mad it isn’t pretty. The kid is very lucky that it all happened so quickly I did not have time to get angry. If that would have happened that kid would have experienced a much different outcome. As a matter of fact I consider I may be lucky that I did not retaliate and hurt the kid. I could see the police hauling me off because I gave the kid a serious beating. On top of that I’ve watched all of the Bruce Lee movies so he’s lucky…..whooo boy.  🙂 Might as well throw a little humor at this.

      I am happy that I may have prevented a more serious issue with my neighbor and it’s possible she still has no idea what happened. Thank you all again and let us honor those that have sacrificed their lives this weekend. I am looking forward to a long 3 day weekend and on top of that the company I work for observes “summer hours” so I will be getting off work a 1:30 every Friday starting tomorrow until Labor Day.

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #194131 Reply

      anonymous

      “The kid is very lucky that it all happened so quickly I did not have time to get angry”

      He probably had a taste of that when you restrained him and he realised that now he was fighting just to get away again.

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