Very clever and witty! Kudos to you, Woody!

Pretty funny!

ME Airways – The plane sure looks nice standing there on the tarmac, but it doesn’t go anywhere. All the passengers get to waggle the ailerons but agree that’s really not what it should be about.

Just wondering – what or who is “LL”?

GREAT stuff and thanks a bunch for posting this Woody!

I think the last time I enjoyed a full belly shaking LOL before my second cup of coffee was when I read that my ex-wife had gotten arrested for shoplifting in our local small town newspaper!

You clearly have some very young readers, Woody.

I prefer the definition of Linux Airlines here:
http://www.webaugur.com/bazaar/53-what-if-operating-systems-were-airlines.html

‘… You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”‘.

See also: http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/operating_systems_and_airlines

This reminds me of mainframe OS naming, which went something like:

IBM 360 – named after the number of operators required to keep it running
IBM 370 – yes, you guessed correctly
ICL 1900 – named after the year in which it was designed
ICL 2900 – named after the year in which it would work

There were a few more, but I can’t remember them now. Does anyone know a link to the original mainframe OS naming list?

I’m with Ed here Woody – it’s a long time since this old codger has laughed out loud.

It’s not often that highly relevant,biting and intelligent comment is also good enough to awaken chuckle muscles!

Many thanks.

“…highly relevant,biting and intelligent comment…”

Let me add “brilliant” and a delightful way to start my day.

You forgot with SEVEN AIR:

-Every three weeks, you are offered a free ticket for TEN AIR, whether you have flown recently or not. Occasionally, you or your friends/family may unexpectedly be forced to reroute from SEVEN AIR one night to TEN AIR the next morning, although, if it makes you uncomfortable, you have thirty days to request a refund.

P.S. I have never seen Vista Air receive a free upgrade to SEVEN AIR. Wouldn’t that be nice.

This is the best line (TENAIR) …

The plane undergoes maintenance while at cruising speed so as not to inconvenience the ground crew.

DOS AIRWAYS
Passengers can only fly on ONE airplane to ONE destination at a time. All other planes are grounded, until the one that is in the air has landed. Only then another plane can take off and fly to its destination. DOS Airways planes never crash, but the speed is limited to 640 Miles an hour.

COMMODORE-64 AIR
This airline has a BASIC layout. Passengers can insert a “speed boost” cartridge that offers a faster flight AND increases the entertainment options. To cut costs, chairs can be turned around and mounted to the ceiling so that twice as many passengers can be crammed in the plane. Unfortunately, passengers also have the ability to insert POKE commands to the flight controls, making this airline a high profile target for terrorists.

IOS AIRLINES
With its sleek airplanes, flashy colors and touch screen in-seat entertainment, this plane appears to have it all at first sight. Once airborne however, the truth comes out: Your bags were left behind if you didn’t purchase iLuggage and you can’t fly unless you create an AirlineID with your email and supply a credit card. Someone in the back of the plane seems to be throwing birds to the front of the plane. And those birds seem angry.

95 AIR.
After DOS AIRWAYS was declared obsolete, 95 AIR took over. Strangely enough, 95 AIR had many of the same employees as DOS AIRWAYS, and it’s airplanes look modern and flashy from the outside, but when you remove the bulkheads you will see the DOS AIRWAYS plane right in front of you. Disturbing as that is, 95 AIR was present as being “32xBetter” than DOS AIRWAYS, and that the bulkheads of the plane were only removed when the plane took off in a special “Mode”. 95 AIR continuously re-invented itself by renaming itself 95 AIR OSR2, 98 AIR, 98 SE AIR, and finally AIR ME, but behind the curtains nothing was changed. This airline is very fast, but suffers from frequent crashes.

NOVELL NETWARE AIRLINES.
It flies. It may not have all the bells and whistles, but when you board a NETWARE airplane, you know you will not crash, ever, until the pilot says its time to stop flying. There are reports of airplanes still flying after 6030 days. (Google 6030 days uptime novell) Unfortunately, there are no places for NETWARE airplanes to land. But if you want to keep flying, this is the airline for you.

Nicely done! Is this your work, or do you have a source?

If I am running Vista on my Dell should I upgrade to Windows ‘7’ ? Is there a free upgrade to ‘7’ ?

you missed that flight… lol

At least two of these I would put differently:

Air ME: This is just like Air 98, except they locked the toilet doors and removed business class to encourage upgrades to Air 2000.

Air 2000: This luxury airline only offers business class, provides complimentary newspapers, and flies only the latest jumbo jets. The crew uniforms and decor are mostly from the air NT transport planes, but with a few colorful stripes added to remind newcomers of air 98.

Air Linux: This former hippie airline still advertises that you can influence and rearrange your own seat, swap around airline parts to your liking and that watching the flaps move is more enjoyable without ‘windows’. But as you board, it feels almost like a regular commercial airline, though you still need to use a complimentary wrench to fold back the table, and the cockpit door is on the outside to prevent terrorists from grabbing the controls in mid air.

I love this!